About the author

So I was just reading about a book (I will not tell you what book because I'm embarrassed), and the little blurb about the author read, "Ms.               is the author of the bestselling books                   and                  . She lives in England." That is the saddest short little bio I've ever seen. Who else is she? Much more than that I'm sure. The following is what my little blurb would say if someone other than me was awesome enough to publish anything I write (and let's face it, that is unlikely. There is just too much awesome here for anyone to handle): 

Ms. Awesome is the author of the legendary blog Neither Here Nor There, not to be confused with other inferior blogs entitled Neither Here Nor There, of which there are many. You'll know which is the correct one when you see it. It's the one with all the awesome and is endorsed by Cindy Crawford. 

Ms. Awesome hails from the land of ice and snow (Canada) but has spent short stints living in California and Switzerland. In California she was a house cleaning illegal immigrant whose claim to fame was possibly having seen Britney Spears' hand reaching out of a limousine window. In Switzerland she was a student. Her research from this time has proven that chocolate is, in fact, a food group. Her claim to fame in that life was having gained 20 pounds in four short months. 

In her spare time, between her very serious and important job of blogging, Ms. Awesome is an aspiring geographer and musician. She is most famously known as a geographer for her work on conserving nature for the sake of the rich middle class. Her most famous song to date is a little ditty entitled Weird Mosquito, inspired by her boyfriend. She currently lives in Toronto with her pets, Raisin the evil cat; Hawkslee the mentally challenged dinosaur; and Brian the fully grown boy. 

Ms. Awesome realizes that many readers may find this little biography ridiculous. Well, you know what readers? SO'S YOUR FACE!

Booyah!

Bonus Material:

If you've made it to the end of this post, you get to see the bonus material! This should make you feel special and good. So, without further adieu, I present your prize: