Things I am not

Dear World,

I don't know the first thing about blogging, or what I even want to say, but I thought a good introduction would be to tell you some things about myself. So, here I am:

1. The first thing you need to know about me is that I'm Cindy Crawford. Here is a picture of me standing in front of a fan just after stepping out of the shower:

2. Just kidding. I am not Cindy Crawford. SURPRISE! But here is why you might confuse me for her: Last year when I was applying for my passport I asked my friend to vouch for me to the government. I had known him for at least 3 years at this point and seen him at least 5 days per week. When the government called to ask him to describe me, he gave this description:

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 120lbs

Hair Colour: Dark Brown

Eye Colour: Brown

According to Wikipedia, the most trusted and accurate site on the whole internet, I am Cindy Crawford's long lost body double! Wow! Sadly, this could have cost me my passport since I'm 5'5", way more than 120lbs, and have blue eyes... Luckily some other people know me better. I decided to show you what it would look like if I dressed up like Cindy Crawford and stood in front of a fan. It's not pretty:

3. Here is what I look like when I'm being normal:

4. Nevermind.

5. I am not a hippie.

6. My attention span just ran out.

7. I like fire.

Peace,

S